you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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