so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My ass is underappreciated
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
