Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
