I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
