I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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