You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
