id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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