I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
