It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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