the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize