Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
