We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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