Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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