ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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