They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
