Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
