Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
