Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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