Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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