so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
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Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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