my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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