Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
