i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
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hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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