then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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