The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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