Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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