Porn is love you can see.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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