You're so nebulous sometimes
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
