i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now