I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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