I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
