I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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