Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
