I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
