plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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