Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
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One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
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Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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