this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
