walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
