I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
