just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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