the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
