pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
