The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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