I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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