Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
