Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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