There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
