dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
