AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
