god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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