It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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