I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
