I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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