glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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