She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
