you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
