Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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