dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
