Pappa wants mamma naked
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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