i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
