my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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