Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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