Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
