When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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