you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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