I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
